WALT to use the correct structure and Language in our Writing.
On Sunday
On Sunday me and Josiah and William went to Kaitaia beach.
First we got in our togs. Me and William and Josiah
did some bombs. We had a competition to see who did the biggest bombs. I did the biggest bombs ever. My Mum got us lollies. They were Yum and delicious. Next we got changed back into our clothes. We went to the car because it was cold.
We put on our puffy jackets.They were super warm.
After that we got some munchies. We were being greedy cats.
I was happy as a clown.
Finally we went home.
Kia Ora Rio. I liked the part you had about being happy as a clown because the ending sounded funny. I think next time you could try to use more juicy words.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Rio. It's Arkillies here.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the part when you done the biggest bombs. This reminded me of when
I read the story about greedy cat and the visitor. Maybe next time you could use some more juicy words.
kia roa
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the part when...you bomb oof the cliift.
When I read your post it macs me proud.
Next time, you could..read the story and mack shore .
Kia ora Rio this is Jessy I like that you had a competition to see who had the biggest bomb. Maybe next time you can put in more juicy words.
ReplyDelete